Last Updated on October 25, 2021 by Guillermina
Today, we’re going to be answering the question, whose name goes first on wedding invitations: Bride or Groom? When you’re researching wedding invitation wording, this is likely to be the question you’re wondering the most. Is the Bride or Groom name first? And what about if there isn’t a Bride and a Groom? Two Grooms? Two Brides? What’s the etiquette there. Don’t worry – we’ll cover it all in this post! From traditional to a more modern approach.
It’s important to note that what we’re looking at today are just guidelines as to how your wedding invites should be presented. As long as all of the vital information (couple name, ceremony, venue, date, time, etc.) about your big day is on the invite, that’s the most important thing!
So now you’ve chosen your wedding stationery, let’s get down to wording…
Traditional Wording On Wedding Invitations
A lot of couples like to follow the trend of traditional wedding invites. And the order of names on wedding invitations may be something that’s important to you to follow the etiquette of. Etiquette says the Bride’s name should be first on the invites. And not just the invites! Anything involving your wedding like Save the Dates should have the Bride’s name first.
However, it’s important to note that anything sent out after the wedding should have the Groom’s name first. This is for stationery such as thank you cards. And even things like favors. This is because you’re a “Mrs.” now, so the Groom should come first. This is very old school and traditional, so absolutely not something you need to do.
Why Is The Bride’s Name First On Wedding Invitations?
The Bride’s name comes first because traditionally, the Bride’s parents pay for the wedding (or at least a large proportion of it) and this affords her to have her name first on anything to do with the wedding. However, it’s an outdated concept now that the Bride’s parents should pay for everything. Let’s take a look at what happens if that is not the case.
What If The Bride’s Parents Are Not Hosting?
If the Bride’s parents are not paying for the wedding, it is essentially down to you whose name goes first. However, if the Groom’s parents are footing the bill for the wedding, it’s seen as good etiquette to put the Groom’s name first. Again, if both parents of the couple are contributing, it’s down to the couple to decide what works best.
Modern Wedding Invitation Wording: Bride Or Groom First?
It’s becoming increasingly popular for couples to ditch some wedding traditions – invite wording is one of them! There’s a range of options to consider if you’re unsure what works best, and aren’t keen on following tradition. Here are some ideas:
- Consider the Invitation Design. Does someone’s same work best being first on the design of the invite? What fits best? If it looks and feels right on the design – go for it!
- Alphabetical Order. An easy way to decide is to put whoever’s name is first in the alphabet. This is a quick way to do it, that needs little discussion.
- How are you Known as a Couple? Most couples are known by friends and family in a certain order. Whichever way around your names are referred to as most often, you could use that. It may seem odd if it’s the reverse order to usual!
- Personal Preference. It can come down to something as obvious as personal preference. Whichever you and your partner are happiest with. As long as you’re both happy with the order – that’s the most important thing.
Wedding Invitations Wording For Same-Sex Couples
For same-sex weddings, you can still follow traditional, whether it’s two brides or two grooms. If one of your family’s is footing the bill more than the other, you can put their child’s name first on the invite. However, you may want to set your own rules – and you’re free to do so! Alphabetical order, personal preference – whatever works best, and whatever you’re both comfortable with, is the way forward.
Read more about Brother and Sister Wedding Dance Songs
Help With Hosting
If one or both set of your parents are hosting the wedding, you may be wondering how to reflect this on the invite. It’s seen as gracious to include anyone that has helped to pay for the wedding on the invite. However, if you wish to keep the monetary aspects of the wedding private, that is entirely up to you.
If the Bride’s parents are footing the bill, traditionally they will go at the start of the invitation. For example, your invitation can start with:
“Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Thomas, request the pleasure of your company, at the marriage of their daughter…”
For a full list of wording choices (not everyone’s parents are present), then Elegant Wedding Invites have a great article on The Basic Rules and Tips for Wording Wedding Invitations.
Ultimately, like every aspect of your wedding – the choice is up to you and your partner. Wedding etiquette dictates ways as to how your wedding should be. But if any of those ways aren’t appropriate or you’d prefer not to do them – that is absolutely fine. You don’t want to feel uncomfortable with any aspect of your wedding day, so don’t conform to tradition just because you feel as though you have to. Your wedding is exactly that: yours. Bear that in mind when organizing everything for your special day.
What was the wording on your wedding invitations? Or are you planning yours now? I’ll have to be honest – I do not remember what the wording was on my own wedding invitations. To me, it wasn’t important, and if you feel the same…join the club! Please let me know any thoughts you have in the comments below. I love reading through them. And you may help any future Brides or Grooms feel happier with their decision on wedding invitation wording.